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Acceptance vs. Approval



In today’s times we are often met with ideas and beliefs that challenge our way of thinking. If your experience is anything like mine, there is the opportunity to debate feelings multiple times a day. All too often it can be difficult to sit across from someone we have known for years and all of a sudden be completely challenged by the way they are thinking and expressing their stance. Whether it be mask vs. no mask, vaccination status, organic vs. best choice, there is a way to cope through this dilemma, no matter where your loyalties lie.


When we think of the idea of acceptance and approval, some people think they are one and the same. They are not the same! Yes, they are both nouns and have to do with the way we see someone else. However, they are not mutually exclusive and not dependent on one another. Acceptance will always trump approval but it is not essential to have one and not the other. Acceptance is what we truly need and want from others but we often spend our time asking for approval instead. We often seek approval from others, not acceptance. Yet oftentimes we tell ourselves we have to offer others our approval or disapproval not realizing there is another option.


Acceptance


So, let’s begin with the basics of acceptance. It is the pure state of I receive you as you are. It is all encompassing. The idea of acceptance cannot be present without having a general love for fellow humans in addition to respect. No matter what, respect should be a standard. It is your ability to see someone as another human being, to value them, and understand they have a right to their own choices. This can most commonly be identified as a child and parent relationship. We may not always agree with the choices our children make, but our love is unconditional. This is a love God wants us to know for all people. Let me explain what I mean about an all-encompassing love. I am not saying to accept bad behavior such as drugs, alcohol abuse, or smoking. What I am saying is that while this person continues to make a choice that I do not agree with, I still have a love and appreciation for the human being that they are and the potential of the person that they could become. This is the idea that we can embrace another person as who they are now, without any demands to change. Acceptance comes from the belief, “I do not have to understand or agree with you in order to value you”.


Now for the other side, we need to understand what acceptance is not. Acceptance does not mean agreement. Think of it as the idea of “it is what it is”. You might prefer the situation to be different but you have accepted it as is. Acceptance is not resisting or fighting with the idea or situation. It is not trying to control the situation, denying that it is happening, or suppressing or avoiding. With acceptance you are allowed to express your disapproval, but here is an important question to ask yourself, “Is my disapproval keeping me from my acceptance?”. If yes, then there lies your problem. You can accept absolutely anyone or any situation, agreement is not a requirement.


Approval


Approval works in a completely different way. Approval stems from the idea that I condone, sanction, or endorse this thing you are doing. The idea of approval comes from a person that we attach some type of authority to. Before you stop reading and think, “There isn’t a single person that has authority over me!”, think about some of the different relationships in your life. You most likely have a boss or supervisor. You seek their approval to know that you are performing adequately in your workplace. However, in your social relationships, stop and think of those that you are seeking approval from. When a person holds that authority, it is because they have more skills, knowledge, or understanding of what we are seeking. For example, I value my mom and her advice on tackling obstacles in my life. She has walked more miles on this earth and holds a level of authority of knowledge over me, therefore her approval of my life choices is important to me. The next question to ask yourself is, “Am I seeking approval from relationships where it can never exist?”. I have a client that I am working with that has been working tirelessly for years seeking approval from her mother and grandmother. She has placed a great deal of significance in these relationships, but it is never going to happen. She has had to grow in the idea that she is accepted by these women but will never meet their impossible level of approval.


Approval can create a level of connection in a relationship, but it does not have to serve as an end goal for a relationship to qualify as significant. Both approval and acceptance serve as a form of connection and hold value. However, we do need acceptance and a sense of belonging. As human beings we want to be liked and valued. Acceptance encourages the idea we were all created in God’s image and for His glory. Just think how different our world would be if we operated under this idea—that each and every day we can love one another without seeing eye to eye. Can you accept that?


5TH ANNUAL GOLF CLASSIC


Our 5th Annual Peace Partnership Golf Classic presented by Metcalf Auto Plaza was a huge success. The weather was beautiful and if you were a participant, we hope you had a wonderful time with friends and colleagues. Thank you to our many sponsors and volunteers who helped make this event a success.


With your help, we were able to raise $48,100 for at-risk children and families in our community through sponsorships, registration, silent auction, contests and raffle sales! We are so grateful to our sponsors, golfers, volunteers and in-kind donors. Thank you, Natalie Pool, for another phenomenal job on event photos this year. You can check them out on our Facebook page.

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR WINNERS OF THE DAY!


A Flight:

1st Place (56) – Phil Rydman, Jeff Rydman, Dameon Knowles, Gary Eberle

2nd Place (57)* – Mickey Fleeman, Bob Patterson, Derek Mason, Austin Lynch


B Flight:

1st Place (63)* – Roger Horne, Justin Copeland, Zach Coffman, Josh Reed

2nd Place (63)* – Howard Cordell, Rick Krist, David Blackwell, Ryan Kubicina


C Flight:

1st Place (66) – Spencer Watkins, Wes Matthews, Cole Jenkins, Chris Nance

2nd Place (67)* – Zak Hill, Wesley Frevert, Alex Ervin, Logan Selby


* Indicates Scorecard Playoff

Contest Winners: Closest to the Line – Waylon Taylor Closest to the Flag – Jay Fulmer Closest 2nd Shot – Eric Sherwood Longest Putt – Jay Fulmer



We want to thank each of you for the part you play in allowing us to provide high-quality, affordable counseling services for at-risk children and families. We couldn’t do it without you and the life change you help provide through your giving is making a generational impact!

  • Thank you, Kansas City Mavericks, for your community partner donation and for your continued partnership in our mission.

  • Jeff & Lacey Cherry, thank you for going above and beyond by increasing your monthly giving.

  • A special thanks to Charles & Arletta McCrary for their extremely generous stock donation.

  • Thank you, Square Deal Auto, Debbie Miller Senior Insurance Advisor, Banks Real Estate, Bordner Home Improvement, QuikTrip Corporation, Dave & Stephanie Schwirtz, Sonshine Sports Apparel, Paths Elder Law and Little Blue Marketing for your golf tournament premium hole sponsorships.

  • We are grateful to Junior Service League, Carolyn’s Country Cousins, John & Keshia Otradovec, Dr. Kirk Opdahl, Peculiar Winery, Kansas City Mavericks, Johnny’s Tavern, Kevin Quinn, Hy-Vee, Charlie’s Car Wash, Oades Brother’s Tire & Auto, Restoration Jeweler, Senator Rick Brattin, Adams Pointe Golf Club, Pumpkins & Pines and Louisburg Cider Mill for their silent auction donations.

  • Thank you to Kansas City Mavericks, Mark & Cathy McGaughey, Square Deal Auto, Preuss Foster Law, Pinnacle Family Advisors for your sponsorships and golf team registrations.

  • Thank you, Eric & Tonya Mater and Rachel Tovey, for your generous donations and to EPR Properties for matching their gifts.

  • A big thank you to Joe & Shannon Reynolds for your generous support. We appreciate your heart for our mission.


A special Thank You to our faithful monthly supporters: Brandon & Vanessa Blanchard, Cory Young, Jenny Glasgow, Craig & Samantha Compton, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, John & Vicki Hefner, Tamara Stroud, Church at Coffee Creek, Stone AMP SEO, John & Keshia Otradovec, Zane & Melissa Morerod, Matt & Kristy Newton, Jondy & Heather Britton, Rick & Jan Britton, Diane Smith, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Scott & Lydia Hurley, Kevin Quinn, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Mark & Cathy McGaughey, Mike & Tracy Pruitt, Linda Hartman, Lone Jack Baptist Church, Brent & Amanda Miller, Clayton & Pam Wooldridge, Demi Raveill, Jeff & Lacey Cherry, Andre & Rose Fantasma, Jon & Naomi Thompson, Jon Brody, Dave & Rosie Bourland, and Greg & Jennifer Spears.


We appreciate you!


Contact our Director of Development, Athena Brattin at: athena@peacecounseling.org or call 816.272.0653 to find out how you can join our team of Partners. To make a donation through our website, please click on the link below.


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