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The Truth About Self-Care



A few weeks ago, I took my children to a water park to meet with some friends to play. There was a woman there that was surrounded by towels, water toys, and a cooler. There was a car seat with a baby inside as well as some sippy cups on the table in front of her. She reached into the cooler, grabbed a White Claw, looked at me and said, “Cheers to self-care”. As I observed all of this, I began to think about how that might actually be the opposite of self-care. Self-care is something that was intended to bring awareness and time management to people’s lives and it has been misconstrued into the idea of indulgence without consequence. Giving into your every desire is not self-care, but instead, is leading you towards self-destruction. Please understand, I am not saying you can’t enjoy your White Claw now and again; what I am saying is the idea of truly caring for one’s self has lost its meaning. The idea of self-care is not meant to free us from facing the hard stuff in our lives, but rather, to care about our own personal success so that we display self-discipline and overcome the hard things in our lives. Life is beautiful, but it doesn’t just come easily with things given to you, you have to work for it. Romans 5:3-5 “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance.”.


When I think of self-discipline some basic principles come to mind. This is not something that requires a complete life change, but rather, to simply get back to the things that make your life better. So often I will meet with some of my long-term adult clients who have returned to old patterns. They have gotten away from doing the things that they know bring them success. They then have to realign their self-discipline and return to the behavior patterns that make life better.


The first element of self-discipline is daily health. There are three broad principles that make up daily health. The first is to make sure that you are getting a full night’s rest. Sleep has a major impact on your overall mood and work performance. Second, what you put into your body matters. It is really a simple concept that we are all aware of. When we eat healthy foods, limit alcohol intake, and limit portion sizes, we just feel better. The final piece of this puzzle comes down to exercise. How many times do we need to read about endorphins making major contributions to overall brain health? These concepts are not new, but are ideas that we have to make time to incorporate into our lives.


Working in the counseling role, you can encounter a client or two that will give you every reason as to why they cannot find time for the self-discipline that they are lacking in their life. It so often comes down to being able to prioritize correctly. We make time for the things that matter the very most. I happen to be a time optimist and think that I can accomplish more in a day then physically possible… and then end up asking myself why I feel so stressed and overwhelmed when I did not get everything done. The answer is simple, I took on too much and did not prioritize in a way that was reasonable. What are the things that could have waited? I find the following questions extremely helpful to my clients when talking about time management. When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself, “what can I do in the next 5 minutes to: Make my kids feel loved? Make my spouse feel valued? Strengthen my relationship with God?”. Those are the questions of priority that will give us the biggest payout.



Being able to prioritize also comes with the ability to say “NO!”. As a compliant personality, I find myself struggling with this often. When others ask things of me, I want to help even when it is outside of my capacity. When I tell people “no”, I feel guilt. My clients have described their feeling as disappointment or as if they are letting someone down. Saying “no” is not a form of disappointment, however, it is a form of self-awareness of when it is too much. It is also a form of keeping sight of the things that are a priority and being committed to allocating the time for those things to happen. This demonstrates your ability to set and maintain healthy boundaries and allow time for the things in your life that are a priority. This also come from a place of being able to say no to yourself. Saying no to destructive thoughts and feelings; having self-control and practicing that daily; being consistent in your character; following through with what you say you are going to do; living a life of integrity.


Telling someone “no”, can bring about some feelings of discomfort, but learn to tolerate that. In our world today, we go to great links to avoid confrontation or any type of disagreement. Do not be afraid to sit in those feelings and begin to ask yourself why this certain instance or situation has created discomfort in you. you may discover that it is time to make a change in your life. People are going to criticize and maybe even judge you. What are you going to make of it? Are you going to let that discomfort fuel you toward some better version of yourself? After all, it is often those strong feelings that push us into the motion of change. Choosing to live a life of courage will have a much better outcome versus living a life of fear.


Another important element of self-discipline is the commitment to daily excellence. Now, I am not saying that every single day on earth is going to be your best, but there are certain ways of thinking that will get you closer to living life vibrantly and effectively. The ability to set goals and achieve them is one way to get started. Sometimes a person will not set a goal for achievement because it also allows for an opportunity to fail. If you are constantly taking the easy way out to avoid the possibility of failure, you will find that the world will not stand back and wait for you to make something of yourself. Is there a task that you have been meaning to accomplish but it seems to always get pushed into the back of your tomorrow? Start small, maybe it is cleaning out a drawer or making a difficult phone call you do not want to make. Just pick a place to start. Critically think about the steps you will take, moving forward, to reach your goal. Use your problem-solving skills to inch yourself closer and closer toward your solution. Keep in mind, goals are meant to push and challenge us on to something better than before. Make a commitment to lifelong learning and tell yourself that you do not have to already know how to accomplish this goal, but rather, you can learn along the way. Only by doing this will you be able to understand how your goals can improve your life.


Most importantly, self-care is not yet another excuse to indulge in something that, deep down, you know is giving way to an addiction or urge that perpetuates your problems. It is accepting the idea of self-discipline. It is focusing on the hunger for more in life. It is asking why you believe that sense of absence exists, finding a way to fulfill it with great purpose, and then experiencing the true feeling of life enhancement. Every day is a chance to start something better than the day before. Quit comparing yourself to the other people of today and start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday and what you can make of your life today. Life is just waiting for you, now is your chance.


 



Thursday, September 22, 2022 @ 7:30am

Adams Pointe Golf Club, 1601 RD Mize Rd, Blue Springs, MO

REGISTRATION & SPONSORSHIPS - NOW OPEN!


CALLING ALL GOLFERS AND SPONSORS! We have opened up registration for our 6th Annual Golf Classic. As you all know, this will be another top-notch event, with a stellar swag bag, delicious food, and outstanding prizes. For all of you sponsors, this is a great opportunity to put your business in front of our 200 guests while supporting an amazing organization changing the lives of the kids and families in your community. We have a variety of sponsorship levels, so please register now or contact Naomi with any questions.


Registration is open, so put your team together now!


REGISTRATION:

  • Team Registration – 4 Person ($700)

  • Individual Team Registration ($175): Playing on a team but paying fees individually.

  • Individual Player Registration ($200): Individual golfer, not yet on a team. Will be placed on a team prior to event.

SPONSORSHIP LEVELS:

  • Presenting Sponsor ($15,000): Logo on all event materials, welcome banner; name included as presenter on all written materials; logo placed on gift bag; private speaking engagement with Dr. Jon Thompson; 2 foursomes included

  • Platinum Sponsor ($10,000): Logo on all event materials & signage; exclusive logoed golfer gift item; 2 foursomes included

  • Gold Sponsor ($5,000): Exclusive logoed golfer gift item; prominent signage at event & logo on website; 1 foursome included

  • Silver Sponsor ($3,000): Logo on gift bag, sponsor banner, & website; 1 foursome included

  • Cart Sponsor ($1,000): Logo included on all beverage carts (3), cart corral area, and on sponsor banner

  • Premium Hole Sponsor ($250): Sign with logo at designated hole; table to handout giveaways at hole; ability to include promotional item in gift bag


To contact our Director of Development, Naomi Thompson, call: 816.272.0653 or email: naomi@peacecounseling.org.



 



 


Your support is invaluable to all of us at Peace Partnership. It is with grateful hearts that we extend our thanks to each of you who have partnered with us to keep our mission thriving. Your gifts allow us to offer peace and hope in the lives of hurting people in our community. To any of you who are new supporters of Peace Partnership, we thank you for joining us and look forward to connecting with you as we work together to change lives. At Peace Partnership our goal is simple: to help struggling people find peace in their lives. Your generosity makes everything we do possible.

  • Thank you, Darrell & Judy Brammer, for your generous first-time gift. We are honored to have you join our team of partners.

  • Children’s Services Fund of Jackson County, we appreciate your quarterly grant donation. We are so thankful for your support to provide free in-school counseling sessions.

  • We are so grateful to Stan & Deb Oglesby and Midwest Accident Reconstruction Services for your continued faithful quarterly donations. With your help, lives are changed and families healed. Thank you!

  • Thank you to Charles & Arletta McCrary for your annual gift. We are so blessed to count you as friends helping us move forward to see more lives changed.

  • Rayma Seeley, we are so grateful to you for hosting your birthday fundraiser on Facebook. Your gifts along with Stacey Pellman, Janie Gaunce, Steve Sachs, and Cheryl Daigle Goertzen, make a difference in the lives of the families we serve. We appreciate you!

  • A special thank you to Mizkan America and Keller & Owens for your Golf Classic Sponsorships.

  • Thank you, Mark Arreguin/EPR Properties, Spencer Watkins, Boyle’s Famous Corned Beef, and Wes Bird for your Golf Classic registrations. We are looking forward to an amazing tournament.

A special Thank You to our faithful monthly supporters: Stone AMP SEO, Jeff & Lacey Cherry, Zane & Melissa Morerod, Jondy & Heather Britton, Rudy & Stacy Blahnik, Mark McDonald, Lone Jack Baptist Church, Matt & Kristy Newton, Clayton & Pam Wooldridge, Greg & Jennifer Spears, Jon Brody, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, Brent & Amanda Miller, Mike & Jan McGraw, Linda Hartman, Dave & Rosie Bourland, Mike & Tracy Pruitt, Sandra Cooper, Demi Raveill, Diane Smith, Stan & Linda Byrd, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Andre & Rose Fantasma, Kevin Quinn, Scott & Lydia Hurley, Jon & Naomi Thompson, Cory Young, John & Keshia Otradovec, Tamara Stroud, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Church at Coffee Creek, John & Vicki Hefner, Craig & Samantha Compton, Jenny Glasgow, Brandon & Vanessa Blanchard, Rick & Jan Britton, and Mark & Cathy McGaughey.


We appreciate you!


Contact our Director of Development, Naomi Thompson, at: 816.272.0653 or naomi@peacecounseling.org to find out how you can join our team of Partners. To make a donation through our website, please click on the link below.



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