Oftentimes in my office, clients share with me concerns members of their support system have and how they believe the client should deal with a particular situation. I am astonished at some of the advice and expectations people have for their hurting friends and family. My bigger concern is the eagerness clients have to do exactly what their friends and family are saying to do simply out of guilt or not wanting to rock the boat in their support system. Even if they disagree entirely with what they’ve been told or advised to do, they go along to get along. When we make the decision to blindly follow advice, we lack discernment and wisdom. To build these skills, we must reevaluate what we do when we receive advice.
As a clinician, it is not generally my place to give advice to my clients. Rather, I review options with them, look at experiences from the past and present, and help my clients decide how to proceed with decisions they are faced with. As a friend and family member however, I am often asked my opinion about a lot of different things. While I do my best to provide wisdom and wise counsel there are some things that people should not ask me about. Is there something wrong with your car? Are you struggling with understanding Trigonometry? Do you want to review the measurements for your new kitchen? I’m not your girl. If you don’t believe me, I have references, including former math teachers and my husband.
When we build a support system it is imperative to surround ourselves with wise counsel. For me that includes spiritual leaders, other clinicians, parents I respect, and friends who push me to be a better version of myself even when I don’t always want to hear what they have to say. As you evaluate your support system ask yourself a few questions:
Who are you listening to?
Do the people who have influence deserve it?
What makes them qualified to speak into your life?
If your answers are “no” and “I’m not sure” or “they don’t,” take a second to look at your support people and consider who could bring better support and wisdoms to your life. There may be people who don’t deserve a spot in your support system. Remove them. More likely though, there are people who have roles that need to be shifted. Inviting me to help you figure out how many cabinets you need in your new kitchen is a terrible idea but asking me about childhood developmental milestones—I’m your girl! Are you giving individuals influence in the place they have experience, or can they speak on all things? If they can (sometimes a great thing), what makes them qualified to do so?
Now you may be thinking “Lindsay, that is easy for you to say, but what if I hurt their feelings? What if I make them mad? What if they disagree?” Yep. That is going to happen. Life is full of conflict and disagreement. Most problems aren’t solved with black and white answers. If the people surrounding you truly care about your wellbeing and are giving wise counsel, it’s likely you will utilize their advice, and that they are mature enough to understand the ‘why’ when you do not. If the people you choose to surround yourself with are outraged when you don’t heed or listen to them—it’s possible that they are immature and are looking to you for validation OR maybe, the decision you’re making is unwise and they are sounding the alarm!
When looking to surround yourself with the wise counsel that Psalms and Proverbs remind us are imperative in the life of a healthy Christ follower, look for this:
Humility: when they are wrong, do you see them correct the misdoing? When they are right, how do they respond?
Expertise/experience: What makes them qualified to give this information to me?
What do their lives look like in the areas they are readily providing advice?
Motivation: Why are they sharing this with me? Do they have my best interest at heart?
Psalm 1:1 “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.”
Psalm 90:12 “Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.”
Proverbs 19:20 “Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life.”
4th Annual Peace Partnership Golf Classic
Presented by Metcalf Auto Plaza
Golf courses are staying open and keeping busy; we've heard of some tournament cancellations recently, which is causing other tournaments to fill up quickly. We are going full speed ahead for our tournament in September and hope you can be a part of it.
Our golfer gift bag is off the charts this year with new items and custom fitted golf shoes for every player. This is our largest fundraiser and we need your help. Register your team today or check out our sponsorship opportunities at the link above.
We are currently looking for volunteers to help at the event. If you would like to help out, please email email@example.com or call 816.272.0653.
Can’t attend but would still like to help out? Consider donating a silent auction or raffle item. For more information email firstname.lastname@example.org.
We are grateful for the support of the following business sponsors towards our upcoming Peace Partnership Golf Classic:
Metcalf Auto Plaza
Keller Williams - Michelle Gibler
Douglas Tire & Auto
Alpha Mortgage - Jeff Myers
Mizkan America Inc
Pinnacle Family Advisors LLC
Zarda Hickory Pit Bar-B-Q
Keller & Owens
We want to give a heartfelt thank you to all of our donors who continue to support us through their generous giving. We are grateful to you for making it possible for others to find hope and healing.
Thank you, Kevin Barnett, for your extremely generous gift to help those in need.
Butch & Karen Bellis, we appreciate your generous gift to support our mission.
Mark & Cathy McGaughey, Tom & Debbie Reed, Tony Pizzutelli, Jay Fulmer, Steve Whitsitt, & Banks Real Estate - thank you for helping us provide quality care for the underserved with your golf tournament registration.
A special thanks to the Jelley Family Foundation for approving our grant request.
Thank you to Charlie’s Car Wash & QuikTrip for donations to our golf tournament silent auction and raffle.
Midwest Accident Reconstruction we are thankful for your annual gift to help provide healing to the hurting.
We are grateful to John Otradovec for your generous donation towards the finalization of our Expansion Campaign.
Lori Williams & Travis Tynes, thank you for giving to Peace Partnership as one of GEHA’s Choice Causes.
A special Thank You to our faithful monthly supporters: Vox Dei Community, Matt & Kristy Newton, Brandon & Vanessa Blanchard, Jenny Glasgow, Craig & Samantha Compton, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, John & Vicki Hefner, Tamara Stroud, Church at Coffee Creek, John & Keshia Otradovec, Zane & Melissa Morerod, Matt & Kristy Newton, Jondy & Heather Britton, Rick & Jan Britton, Jeff & Lacey Cherry, Nancy & Tim Shea, Diane Smith, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Scott & Lydia Hurley, Kevin Quinn, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Mike & Tracy Pruitt, Lee & Debbie Miller, Linda Hartman, Lone Jack Baptist Church, Perception Funding, Brent & Amanda Miller, Stan & Linda Byrd, Clayton & Pam Wooldridge, and Greg & Jennifer Spears.
We appreciate you!
Contact our Director of Development, Athena Brattin at: email@example.com or call 816.272.0653 to find out how you can join our team of Partners. To make a donation through our website, please click on the link below.