When your Plate is Full
By: Jamie Cooke
You collapse into bed after a full day of work, parenting, tasks, errands, scheduling, cleaning, cooking, making lunches, picking out clothes. You try to find some peace by scrolling social media, only to realize you’ve been doing it too long. You put your phone down and switch off the lamp. The thoughts you thought you were silencing come back with a vengeance, reminding you of everything you still have to accomplish in the coming days. You squeeze your eyes shut to try to force sleep to descend upon you to no avail. Eventually you reach for your phone again to quiet the mind but the thoughts never really vanish; they wait around the corner, demanding a resolution before you’re allowed to rest.
You try to break the cycle with medicine of varying sorts, but it’s been years since you’ve laid your head on your pillow in true peace. Your friends, spouse, and mom all remind you that you’ve always “made it happen,” and you will again. You think to yourself, “I just need a week away.” Life marches on.
The natural response to being overwhelmed is ,at first, problem-solving, and then shutting down. Physical overwhelm is characterized as overstimulation: when there is so much sensory input that your brain can’t make sense of it all and you don’t get a break. Mental and emotional overwhelm is characterized by difficulty choosing a task to focus on and fear or confusion creeping in to fill your mind, followed by what seems to be a mental block that is preventing you from taking a step toward a solution. A state of overwhelm, if left unresolved, causes emotional vulnerability, poor sleep, spiked cortisol, and strained relationships.
When you feel stuck, it’s common for your support system to suggest solutions. You become irritable because you don’t need help solving a problem. You need help carrying the problems. The vast majority of overwhelm doesn’t really come from not knowing how to move forward, but rather the belief that “I’m doing this all on my own” or “if I allow myself to rest, something will get dropped.” This is often where men and women misunderstand each other. Women hold everything in their minds at once. Everything. Women see the problem, see obstacles to solving the problem, predict the ripple effect of choosing this solution or that solution, see the trade-off involved in spending time doing this instead of that, and attempt to find the solution that causes the least amount of upheaval to the least amount of people “(none of the options is ideal, though finding an ideal solution is unrealistic, which adds to the pressure).” Men tend to see each problem as isolated from the others, requiring a single solution to each problem, a simple step forward with few thoughts toward “What if it doesn’t work out?” Both have their strengths and weaknesses, and both tend to miss what the other could add to the process.
Overwhelm is not a problem with a single contributor nor a single solution. Let’s talk about ways to reduce and reframe overwhelm so you can tackle and reduce it without (completely) losing your mind.
Rule #1: PRIORITIZE. Choose what you focus on and for how long, because it cannot be everything, all the time, forever.
Write it down
Simple, yet often overlooked. A large portion of overwhelm is the mental energy it takes to hold tasks, responsibilities, problems, needs in your mind. I’m guilty of it too – if I don’t hold these things in my mind, it’s highly likely I will forget them or forget the deadline (vacuum before company comes this weekend, order my kid’s theater costume before the 18th, get new tires before the first snow). Writing these things down means that you don’t have to keep reminding yourself of them; you can look at your list with due dates by those that are relevant, and feel secure knowing you won’t forget the important things. You free up a bit of mental and emotional real estate by putting your tasks into words on a page. Somehow, every time I walk through this with a client, simply writing the items down has a way of simplifying the issue and taking the mountain back into its original molehill status. For those items that aren’t “to-do” checklist worthy, for example, I want to remember to teach my daughter generosity and gratitude, looking back at my priority list keeps those characteristics fresh in the front of my mind so I can filter through what it is I want to focus on with her in this season.
Cut out 1-2 items
We often get so sucked into what we’ve decided is normal that we feel we cannot cut back or sacrifice. I was faced recently with a decision to spend Saturday catching up on what my family needed, or to spend 9 hours traveling for and attending a wedding shower. The prospect of those 9 hours away from accomplishing what was needed for my own sanity and for my household to run was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I had already sent a gift and a kind word, so I chose to sacrifice my presence at the shower. Once I made that decision, before Saturday even came, I experienced relief that made me feel 80 pounds lighter. I’m not suggesting we drop everything, but I am suggesting sacrificing one or two calendar items or tasks probably isn’t actually the end of the world. Spending your time and energy on things that aren’t top priority, or even secondary priorities, will leave you feeling empty and resentful.
Delegate what you can
Let’s get so real for a moment. I see how social media drives a rift between spouses because of the different ways men and women think (addressed in the introduction). There is no shortage of posts telling women that their husband is worthless and selfish if he needs a list to effectively help carry the burden off his wife. Women will, on principle, refuse to ask for a hand with their role in the home because they feel they shouldn’t have to ask. The truth, ladies (and we all know it): men do not see what we see. We have different roles and our minds work differently – even for those of us who hold down a career while caring for children and the home. Spiteful silence is as harmful as constant criticism. If your man is willing to help you graciously but doesn’t see what you see, just tell him what you need. Men, you tend to see media that frames your overwhelmed wife as a nag who is never satisfied, rather than a woman who loves you and is trying to hold the domestic responsibilities together so you don’t take on extra burdens. You, likewise, silently carry the frustration and weight of your own life and choose not to share it with your woman so you don’t “stress her out.” Men and women alike: don’t be so proud that you drown in silence. Let go of the requirement that your spouse (or coworker, or PTF colleague, whoever) complete the task or carry the weight the same way you would. Practice flexibility, humility, and respect.
Say “NO”
I’ll preach this from the rooftops. YOU CANNOT BE ALL THINGS TO ALL PEOPLE. Know your limits. Every decision, agreement, commitment, is a trade. Saying “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. If you follow Rule #1 and know your top priority, discernment will follow. No lengthy explanation here; you must choose where you’re willing to spend your limited time and energy.
Assess the risk
Lastly, underneath every commitment or stress about keeping commitments, is the belief that there is a detrimental consequence to failing to complete it in a certain way by a certain time. When was the last time you truly asked yourself (and answered), “What is the consequence if I don’t do X exactly as I have it in my mind?” Sit with it and answer honestly. Does the answer have something to do with your emotions, sense of failure as a person, or disappointing others? Those may be indicators that you agreed to take this on for the wrong reasons. Or that you’ve created rules for yourself that are no longer effective in this context. Free yourself from arbitrary rules and obligations that don’t serve your long-term priorities. While this may not alleviate short-term obligations that you can’t resolve now, employ this strategy as a way to resist the temptations to take more on than you are willing to handle.
When your plate is full, you may have to white-knuckle the next week or so until the short-term obligations are resolved. But wait no longer to reevaluate what you orient your life around and why, because white-knuckling is not a sustainable long-term solution. Rather than doubting your competence as a parent, spouse, worker, or adult, start aiming your refinement at priorities and commitments. Your decisions already follow your priorities; you’ll see change when you become intentional about your priorities.
10 YEARS. $85,136.72 RAISED. ONE INCREDIBLE COMMUNITY.
Our 10th Annual Peace Partnership Golf Classic is officially in the books, and what a way to celebrate ten years.
Together, we raised $85,136.72, making this our biggest Golf Classic yet.
That number represents so much more than one incredible day on the golf course. It represents counseling sessions for people who need help but cannot afford the full cost of care. It represents free counseling for students right inside local schools. And it represents more people in our community having a place to turn when they are ready to ask for help.
We could not have reached this milestone without the incredible community that showed up around us.
Our sponsors believed in our mission. Businesses donated generously. Golfers filled the course. Volunteers gave their time. Friends and families showed up early, stayed late, carried boxes, worked holes, sold raffle tickets and stepped in wherever they were needed. And our staff poured countless hours into making this day possible.
Every part of this tournament was made possible by people who chose to give, serve, participate and believe in the work happening at Peace Partnership.
As we celebrate ten years of the Peace Partnership Golf Classic, we are incredibly grateful for every person who has helped build this event into what it is today. Whether you have been with us since year one or joined us for the first time this year, you are part of the impact behind that $85,136.72.
The tournament may be over, but the impact of what happened that day is just beginning.
Thank you for making our 10th year our biggest yet and for helping make counseling accessible to people in our community who need it most.
Our 7th Annual Christmas Raffle is almost here, and we are getting ready for another exciting year with 15 incredible prizes up for grabs!
Only 300 tickets will be available, giving you 15 chances to win throughout the drawing.
We are keeping the prizes under wraps for just a little longer, but we promise, you won't want to miss out!
Mark your calendar for December 15, 2026 and stay tuned.
The prize reveals are coming soon!
The time has finally come! Our new East Campus opens this month, giving us more space to serve our community with more offices, more counselors, and more opportunities to connect people with care. We’re also nearly 50% of the way to our expansion goal, and we’re so grateful for everyone helping make this growth possible.
Sometimes taking the first step toward counseling can feel like the hardest part. Refuge, a private Christian guidance app from Genesis Counseling, offers a place to begin. Created by Dr. Jon Thompson and informed by 23 years of clinical experience, Refuge provides Scripture-centered guidance for anxiety, marriage, stress, grief, and the questions that can be difficult to say out loud. Click the link below to start a conversation and explore your free trial.
Because of your continued generosity, people in our community are finding a place to turn when they need support and care. Month after month, your giving helps children, adults, couples, and families access counseling while allowing Peace Partnership to continue growing and preparing for what lies ahead. As we expand our space and reach more people, your faithful support helps make that growth possible. We are truly grateful to have you as part of the Peace Partnership family and for the part you play in building what comes next.
Aaron Linn, Andre & Rose Fantasma, Andrew & Kari Mills, Amanda Glodowski, Amy Bragaw, Ann Bartkoski, Ashley Kirn, Athena Brattin, Benjamin Overman, Betty Manes, Blake Cooke, Brandon & Vanessa Blanchard, Brittany Emily, Butch & Karen Bellis, Carol Jackson, Chris Birdsong, Church at Coffee Creek, Cyndi Eskina, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Dave & Rosie Bourland, Dave Schwirtz, Deborah Hammer, Demi Raveill Ortiz, Don Collins, Dorsey Embrey, Doug Bonebrake, Erin Dunn, Greg & Jennifer Spears, Greg Roy, Isaac King, James Lee, Jenny Wrobleski, Jeremiah 924 Foundation, Jill Getman, Joanna Hoover, Joel & Ruthie Morris, Joel Reed, John & Kimberly Shrader, John & Vicki Hefner, John Otradovec, Jon & Naomi Thompson, Jondy & Heather Britton, Lee & Debbie Miller, Lydia Hurley, Mandi Pollard, Mark McDonald, Matt Newton, Michael Hirons, Mike & Jan McGraw, Mike Hoover, Mitch Wink, Phil Rydman, Rachel Tovey, Rick & Jan Britton, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, Roger & Laura Neir, Rudy & Stacy Blahnik, Sarah Vaughn, Scott Burgess, Shelly Schuman, Stephen Pretzer, Stone Amp SEO, Tamara Stroud, Taylor Petermann, Tim Blanchard, Timothy Owens, Willie Valdes, Zachery Walker, Zane & Melissa Morerod.
From every corner of this ministry, thank you. Your generosity is the reason we can keep showing up for kids, for families, and for healing that lasts.
Do you know a friend, church leader, or business owner who wants to make a lasting difference?
We would love to meet them, with a simple introduction, over coffee, or a tour of our office. It is a chance to share more about Peace Partnership, the heart behind what we do, and how generosity can bring hope to our community.
If someone comes to mind, we would love to hear from you. Your connection could open the door for even more lives to be transformed.
Contact: Ashley Kirn
Director of Development
816.716.1847
Have you or someone you know been helped by Peace Partnership or Genesis Counseling? If so, would you consider paying it forward so another person can begin their journey?
If you are not currently partnering with us financially, we invite you to consider a recurring gift of $100 per year for the next 3 years.
Together, those gifts help us meet real needs and keep counseling accessible.
You can set up your recurring donation online, or call our office!
Thank you for helping change lives one family at a time.
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