How Did I Get Here?
- Jamie Cooke, LPC
- Oct 1, 2025
- 9 min read
The titled question is what we all ask ourselves as we are confronted with the consequences of a life lived without intentional direction. The problem is, we never meant to find ourselves facing these circumstances:
Needing a life-saving liver transplant
Terminating an unborn life
Ending a relationship with someone who can’t, or won’t, take care of themselves
Many of us value harmony and thus make decisions that won’t rock the boat at the expense of clearly communicated standards and expectations. Remember, that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions and when we trade what is ultimately good for what feels easy now, we perpetuate evil that grows from the tolerance and passivity disguised as love to undeniably grievous, self-justified depravity that eats us alive.
Let me tell you a couple stories to illustrate my point:
A young wife reaches out to me, begging me to perform substance abuse treatment for her husband who needs the proof of treatment to be approved for a liver transplant due to Stage IV liver failure.
No other facility would admit him.
They all required that he attend treatment in person, despite his limitations being confined to a hospital bed and hooked up to machines to sustain his life for the few weeks the doctors said he had left to live.
When I spoke with the wife she was predictably distraught. The couple had been together for 15 years and they have a beautiful daughter entering 6th grade this year. As she pleaded her husband’s case, she didn’t realize the throes of delusion in which she lived, protesting, “this isn’t fair, everyone drinks.”
The assessment revealed her husband had been excessively drinking for 10 years and it had only increased during the 2020 lockdown, where he admitted to drinking over 15 drinks per night. They both were convinced he was drinking “safely,” and they reasoned that he wasn’t drinking at bars, he wasn’t driving afterward, and he wasn’t going out in public under the influence. He was safely at home, pounding cases of beer and bottles of liquor night after night until his body couldn’t function any longer… safely.
Another young woman I saw presented like an endearing puppy with the zoomies. For roughly a year we worked on establishing stability, which meant saying “no” to unhealthy or dangerous activities, to obtaining steady employment to pay rent on time (every month), and being able to make it to appointments on time (rather than her religious 15-minutes-late-to-everything policy).
She once shared with me that she finally realized her ex-boyfriend, who throws fits like a toddler and can’t hold a job, was hindering her ability to grow into the responsible adult she wished to become. This felt profound and she stated her resolve to cut him out of her life. Four months later she revealed that she terminated their 3-week-old baby growing inside her womb because she, “can’t be connected to him for the rest of her life.” Talk about whiplash.
A much older woman whose goal was working to refine her character was wrestling with what to do about a romantic relationship that had gone off the rails. She told me they met four and a half years prior, had fallen madly in love, and then moved in together within a year.
Over the course of those four years, her partner devolved into someone unwilling to take responsibility, speak respectfully, contribute to the household, or to seek help to manage physical or mental health issues. She was at a loss for how to move forward without “doing the wrong thing.” My client was hypnotically convinced that (like the majority of people that I talk to) setting boundaries and enforcing consequences is unloving. Breaking up and kicking her partner out would be wrong in her mind because it wasn’t tolerant of the issues that seem real to the partner. So instead, my client became a hostage in her own home for fear of being “mean.”
These people didn’t set out to ruin their lives, they found themselves there by their own negligence. The husband didn’t pick up his first alcoholic beverage intending to drink himself to death; the young woman didn’t start and stop (and start again) an unhealthy relationship with the end goal of aborting a child; the older woman didn’t move her boyfriend in thinking she would let every infraction slide until she woke up in a hell of her own making– but they ended up at those destinations nonetheless.
These stories are not uncommon.
Evil doesn’t come like a tsunami out of nowhere–it grows from seedlings of tolerance, passivity, and indulgence. Before evil is big, bad, and obvious, it exists in the mundane.
Evil exists in the grandmother that won’t tell her grandchild, “no,” because she loves the child too much. Evil exists in the father that chronically minimizes and ignores his family’s needs in favor of his own selfishness. Evil exists in the woman who is never satisfied and critical of every effort because it could always be better.
When evil grows, it brainwashes those within its clutches to justify evil actions that destroy families, take lives, and keep people from the peace that God promises. There’s something sinister about our reflex to validate and justify overlooking the magnitude that small patterns over time hold.
Evil is a word that holds incredible weight. The word “evil,” leaves us with images of gruesome crimes. What we forget is it even encompasses small actions–or inactions, that, usually by an accident, result in the opposite of good.
It can feel overwhelming to be confronted by these words that hold the message that “Everything matters.” If recent history doesn’t drive this point home I don’t know what else will. The honest question we’re faced with here is, “What’s the alternative?”
Sure, some people respond to a challenge and a call to action by hiding, avoiding, denying, and minimizing. You as the reader have that option too. Life is overwhelming enough, can’t we just live moment-by-moment and extract as much enjoyment as possible from it? Sure you can; and you will meander unwittingly into a life you never intended for yourself, your kids, or your business. No one intends to create harm when they first set out, but without the guiding principle of pursuing what is holy and good, we choose paths that are easy now and hurt later.
What are you going to do with the life you’ve been given?
While you reserve the right to change course as life changes, don’t lose sight of what is ultimately good and use that ultimate good as your North Star to keep you from falling into death and destruction.
Peace Partnership Golf Classic Recap!
We Raised Over $75,000 Together!
What an incredible day. Because of YOU, our 9th Annual Peace Partnership Golf Classic brought in just over $75,000, making it our second most successful tournament ever! That means more counseling sessions will now be available to children and families who might otherwise have gone without help.
This is more than a number. This is hope. This is healing. This is change. And it all happened because you said yes!
With Full Hearts, We Say Thank You
With your help, we exceeded every expectation!. Whether you joined us on the course with a team, partnered as a sponsor, donated to our raffle or silent auction, or lifted us with your prayers and encouragement, you made this day possible.
Every single person who said “yes” to this tournament helped create something bigger than golf. You created a ripple of hope and healing that will touch the lives of children, families, and individuals in our community who need it most. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.
Why Your Support Matters
At Peace Partnership, we meet families who carry heavy burdens. Many long for counseling but feel held back by financial barriers. Your generosity breaks those barriers. Every dollar raised opens the door for someone to step into healing, to discover hope, and to know they are not alone.
Because of your kindness, lives are being restored. Children are finding confidence again. Marriages are being strengthened. Parents are learning tools to love their families better. And together, we are celebrating a powerful milestone.
What a gift. What a difference YOU are making.
Tournament Highlights
We also celebrate our raffle and silent auction winners who brought such joy and excitement to the day.
Every ticket purchased and every bid placed helped make a real difference.
Deepest Gratitude for Our Sponsors & Donors
This day would not have been possible without the generous hearts of our sponsors, raffle donors, and silent auction supporters. Because of your faithfulness, our community continues to receive the care it needs.
And to our raffle and silent auction donors, your gifts filled our auction tables and inspired generosity all day long.
With Grateful Hearts To Out Volunteers
This year’s Peace Partnership Golf Classic was one of our most successful tournaments yet, thanks to an incredible team of volunteers.
Your time, energy, and servant hearts made the day smooth, welcoming, and full of community. Every smile, every detail, and every hand extended created an atmosphere of hope and generosity that made this tournament unforgettable.
Because of you, families will find healing, children will know they are not alone, and parents will discover new courage.
We are deeply grateful for our amazing volunteers: Maddie Clark, Kevin Cohan, Jamie Cooke, Ryan Ervin, Judd Kirn, Ryan Lefler, Arletta & Charles McCrary, John Otradovec, Demi Raveill, Regina Schweizer, Jon & Naomi Thompson, Anna Buser, Jo Rydman, Stephen Ray, Jessica Hickman, Lona Bremer, John Schrader, Kris Fields, Erin Dunn, Gary Moulder, Anne Rauth, Luke Davis, Darrell & Judy Brammer, Cathy McGaughey, and Jean Fracassa — along with incredible support from Adam’s Pointe, Hy-Vee, Pepsi, and Zarda!
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. You did more than make this event possible — you made it extraordinary.
What’s Next
6th Annual Christmas Raffle
Sponsorships now open! Raffle opens up on November 7th and the drawing will be held on December 16th. Only 300 tickets will be sold at $100 each with 15 incredible chances to win. This event sells out quickly every year so make sure you secure your ticket early!
Peace Partnership Sporting Clay Tournament
Thursday May 14, 2026 at Powder Creek Shooting Park:
Sponsorships and team sign ups are already open. Join us for another powerful day of connection, community, and impact.
As October begins and the seasons change, our hearts are once again overflowing with gratitude for you.
Each month we pause to reflect on the difference your support makes, and we are humbled all over again. Your generosity does more than fund counseling sessions. It opens doors to healing. It gives families strength to carry on. It reminds children and teens that they matter, that they are seen, and that they are never alone.
Because of your faithful partnership, more students are being reached, more schools are opening their doors to us, and more lives are being transformed. Behind every story of hope restored, your compassion is at the center.
Whether you give monthly, sponsor an event, or respond to a special need, you are changing lives — one child, one family, one breakthrough at a time.
We could not do this without you, and for that, we are profoundly thankful.
To Our Monthly Donors
Your steady, ongoing support is the heartbeat of our mission. Month after month, you choose to show up for families who need hope and healing, and that kind of consistency is priceless.
We are especially grateful for your dedication and trust.
Aaron Linn, Andre & Rose Fantasma, Church at Coffee Creek, Clayton & Pam Wooldridge, Dan & Gigi Rippee, Dave & Rosie Bourland, Greg & Jennifer Spears, Jason & Val Schram, Jenny Wrobleski, Jondy & Heather Britton, Jon & Naomi Thompson, John Otradovec, Linda Hartman, Mark McDonald, Matt & Kristy Newton, Mark & Cathy McGaughey, Metcalf Auto Plaza, Mike & Jan McGraw, Mike & Tracy Pruitt, Lance & Mandi Pollard, Phil & Jo Rydman, Rick & Kathy Daulton, Roger & Jennifer Madsen, Lydia Hurley, Shelly Schuman, Stone Amp SEO, Tamara Stroud, Willie & Adia Valdes, Zane & Melissa Morerod, Children’s Services Fund of Jackson County, Joel & Ruthie Morris, Mike & Carol Jackson, Rudy & Stacy Blahnik, Genesis Counseling, Denise Israel, John & Vicki Hefner, Demi Raveill
From every corner of this ministry, we thank you. Your generosity is the reason we can keep showing up—for kids, for families, and for healing that lasts.
Would you like to tour our office or grab a coffee or meal together to hear more about our work in the community?
For more information contact Ashley Kirn, our Director of Development, at: 816.716-1847 or ashley@peaceounseling.org. We want to get to know you and personally thank you for supporting our mission. To make a donation through our website, please click on the link below.
Have you or someone you know been helped by Peace Partnership or Genesis Counseling? If so, would you please consider paying it forward to help another find healing along their journey? We are asking anyone who is not currently partnering with us financially to consider donating $100/year for the next 3 years to help make a difference in someone else’s life. Collectively, we can help SO MANY PEOPLE! Please consider a gift today. Call the office for help getting your gift set up or choose a recurring donation on our website here. We are so grateful for your help changing lives!
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